Contributing 

Is unsolicited advice condescending?

Leia Doyle

Is unsolicited advice condescending?

Unsolicited advice is a boundary violation and is condescending, which implies that they are somehow less of an adult, who allegedly needs the advice of other people to micromanage their life. “Good advice” is an opinion, not a fact.

Why do I feel the need to give advice?

People give unsolicited advice because they like the way it makes them feel more than for a genuine concern for someone else’s problems. A set of four studies found that giving advice makes people feel more powerful. Just giving advice makes them feel important. And when the advice is taken, they feel valued.

Is unsolicited advice controlling?

They seek a sense of control and order. People who give unsolicited advice do so not because they necessarily care about the receiving audience but because giving advice gives them a sense of control and order.

How do I stop giving advice to people?

Steps to Not Giving Advice

  1. Ask them Questions about the Problem and their Feelings.
  2. Point out Positive Qualities about them to build their confidence in decision making.
  3. Share Stories only to offer a perspective or help them feel they are not alone.
  4. Do Not make the story about yourself.
  5. Offer Options.

How do I ignore unsolicited advice?

Let the person know clearly, and in no uncertain terms, that you don’t want anymore advice from them; no matter what they think. You can still respond calmly, but you can be firm enough to set those boundaries line hard and let them know you’re not going to take it anymore.

What to say when you can’t give advice?

Instead try these steps:

  1. Ask them Questions about the Problem and their Feelings.
  2. Point out Positive Qualities about them to build their confidence in decision making.
  3. Share Stories only to offer a perspective or help them feel they are not alone.
  4. Do Not make the story about yourself.
  5. Offer Options.

Why is it good to seek advice?

By seeking advice from the right people—and in the right ways—you can develop smarter solutions to problems, deepen your thinking, and sharpen your decision making. And by becoming a better adviser, you’ll extend your influence and learn from the people who come to you for guidance.